Confessions of a Therapist Looking for a Therapist: 5 Unexpected Lessons | IP199

Have you ever looked at your own practice through the eyes of someone who's trying to become your client?

Recently, I found myself on the other side of the consulting room, searching for a therapist of my own. It’s been a lonnnnng time, y’all. And - turns out - It’s been a much harder process than I expected!

As I worked my way through Psychology Today profiles, made initial phone calls, filled out forms and even tried out a few places - I was searching for someone who’d be a good fit in the ways I knew I needed…

And - because I can’t help myself - I couldn’t help but put on my coaching hat a few times along the way.  I found myself paying attention to something I hadn't expected: the client experience. 

I’m not talking about the therapy itself. 

I’m talking about everything that happens before the work even begins.

So today, I’ve decided to share five unexpected lessons from that whole process, along with a gentle invitation to step back and see your own practice with fresh eyes.

This will be good for you. ;)

In this episode, you'll hear...

• The many ways in which your first conversation with a potential client matters so much more than you may realize.
• The surprising difference between being kind and inspiring confidence.
• What your office, website, and even your onboarding process could be communicating before you ever say a word. (There are so many ways to get this right…or not.)
• How even small touch points - and friction - can give potential clients another reason to put off reaching out, rather than taking the step forward we know they need.

We’ll also explore how the smallest moments of curiosity, warmth, and genuine interest often matter more than perfect marketing.

MUCH more, actually. 🙂

Each of these is important in ways that we may not always realize… But oh-my-goodness when we get it right, we create the space that helps people feel welcomed, understood, and ready to begin the kind of work that could literally change their lives.

And isn’t that a wonderful thing? 🤗

Here's my invitation for you.

As you listen, I encourage you to think about your practice from the perspective of someone who's never met you before. Where are you making it easy for people to instinctively trust you? 

And where might one small change make that experience even better? 

I learned so much from this experience. 

I hope you will too. 

~Wendy

P.S. If this episode made you stop and think about your own practice, would you share it with another therapist or practice owner who might appreciate the reminder? Sometimes the smallest shifts create the biggest difference. 💙

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MENTIONED

• The IP360 Scorecard — https://www.wendypittsreeves.com/360

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Let’s CONNECT.

• Interested in being a Guest on Ideal PracticeTM? We’re setting up our fall line up now, so could be a great time to get your name on the list!l Submit your application here. 
• You can find me at https://www.WendyPittsReeves.com

Transcript

Wendy Pitts Reeves 0:00

You're listening to Ideal Practice episode number 199. 199!

unknown 0:07

Ha!

Wendy Pitts Reeves 0:08

Okay, so today, guys, I've got something to share with you that is part personal and part business. It's personal because, as it happens, and what I'm going to share with you is that I have been on the hunt for a therapist for myself for a pretty long time, actually. And you know what? It is not an easy process. Even for someone like me who has been in the profession for decades and who kind of knows everybody in my area. It's not been easy. And this episode is business because as I have gone through this, you know this, I can't help myself. I have been making mental notes the whole time because it has helped to remind me what this experience actually feels like from the client side of the process. So today I thought I would share some observations from that search. I've got four or five things in particular that have surprised me a bit and that I want to share with you because I think there are things you would want to know about. Because the truth is, like for real, our practices get better when we remember to see them through the eyes of our clients. Okay? So stay tuned. Hi, I'm Wendy Pitts Reeves, and with over two decades of experience in the private practice world, I've built my six-figure business while learning a lot of lessons the hard way. This is the first podcast that shows you how to apply the principles of energy, alignment, and strategy to build a practice that is profit-centered, but people forward. This is the Ideal Practice Podcast. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the Ideal Practice Podcast. This is Wendy. Wendy Pitts Reeves, your host, and you know how much I love hanging out with you. So I'm happy to be here today. I'm excited because we are heading into July. And in July, my team and I take a little bit of a break from the podcast, not behind the scenes. We're going to be working on our fall lineup. I'm actually looking for and vetting guests right now. So if you have someone that, or if you yourself feel like you might be a good guest for the Ideal Practice Podcast, by all means, now is the time to reach out. Now is the time because we are lining up, folks, for the fall. If you go to my podcast, my website, wendypitzreeves.com forward slash podcast, that's the homepage for the podcast. Scroll down a little bit and you will see pretty quickly there is a spot that is specifically devoted to podcast guests. There's a button there you can click and there's an application that you can fill out. Okay. So if you yourself think you would like to be on the program or if you know someone who you feel like would be a wonderful addition to the show, that's the way to that's the step to take. Go to wendypitzreeves.com forward slash podcast, scroll down to where you see the guest application and follow the prompts. Okay, and then we will take it from there. So I want to mention that because that's a big part of what's coming up. The other part that thing that's coming up is that during the month of July, guys, I am going to be I'm gonna be playing our summer replay series. And what that means is that I'm gonna go back and pull out some of our favorite episodes from the last three or four years. There are certain ones that you guys always love that kind of rise to the top no matter what how I'm looking at it. And I've got I've got a few episodes in mind, but if you in particular you've got a favorite that you think newer listeners should hear, tell me. Send me an email, wendy at wendypitzreeves.com, or shoot me a text if you've got my number and tell me the episode that you think I should play in the summer replay series. All right. I'm gonna be doing that through the month of July. And I'm always open, would love to hear what you think about that, because that's what I'm doing next is figuring that out. Yeah, so with that, let's talk about today's subject. So here's the thing. Y'all know that I've been through a lot with my folks. The last few years have been pretty tough with all the the things that come along with loving parents who are aging and who have the challenges that come with aging. And honestly, several years ago now, like when I first started saw what was coming down the pike, I started looking for a therapist and struck out, struck out, put it on hold, went in some other directions, worked with some other types of helping professionals, which was fine and good and valuable in all kinds of ways. But in the last year or so, year, year and a half, I've circled back around to that because it's been a long time since I've done my own work the way I know is good for all of us. And I'm not blind to y'all. I know when I need to go do, I need to go do some things. So I started looking for a therapist. And when you are an experienced therapist, when you are a senior clinician, when you've been in the area for a long time and you know a lot of people, it's tricky. It's tricky. And I was doing this not because I was in crisis. I'm not. I'm doing this because I believe all therapists need therapists, and that at various transition points in our life, it's just a good idea to go do some thinking out loud with somebody, check your blind spots, tune in to your internal world, and make sure that you are showing up in your best light, that you are bringing your best to the world, and that you're taking good care of yourself. So that's really kind of what this was all about. Well, y'all, you're not gonna believe what happened when I tried to become somebody's client. It is ironic that as a professional and honestly a community leader who has been in this area for decades, you think it would be easy to find somebody, wouldn't you? Well, it wasn't. It wasn't. Partly because, partly because the people that I know that I have the greatest respect for are also personal friends. Well, that's not gonna work. And then, of course, the other folks that are out there who are excellent that I don't know, well, I'm in the same boat anybody else is, right? So I had to kind of go through the same process that anybody else would go through. And so I did. I actually went about this the same way I encourage other people. When I get a call from someone who's looking for a therapist, if I am not a good fit for them, I talk people through how to find somebody and I followed my own advice. I did exactly the thing, I did things the way that I would teach you to do or would teach anybody to do. And I thought, well, this isn't gonna be so bad. I because I am, I mean, I'm in a fairly significant metropolitan area. There are a gazillion therapists within an hour's drive of me. Shouldn't be that bad. But I'll tell you, as I worked my way through this process, I kept finding myself thinking, wait a minute, what? Really? Did that really just happen? Yeah, it was it was kind of funny. And I want to talk about this here, not because I want to fuss or be any kind of, I don't want to be negative about anything, but I do, when it was hard for me, knowing exactly knowing what I know, it just makes me think about what it feels like for someone who is already anxious or overwhelmed or hurting who has never done this before. It really makes me think about that. If it was hard for me, imagine what it's like for them. And so I am not sharing the lessons that I've learned today. I'm not sharing this to complain. I'm not sharing this to do anything like that. I'm sharing this because what I have experienced is also what your potential clients may be experiencing. Maybe, maybe not. So this is an invitation to see your own practice with fresh eyes. Okay? That's what we're gonna do here. So as I thought about this, as I'm preparing for this episode, I'm really trying to, I was really trying to think about my own feelings as I made various calls and submitted emails and even met with folks here and there. I tried to pay attention to what it felt like, some of the challenges that I ran into, noticing what felt good, what really resonated, what clicked, what made the process easier, and also what doesn't. I really tried to pay attention to that because these are the moments when a potential client decides whether to trust you, whether to take a chance with you, whether to come back. I often, with my own counseling clients, when they come back for a second visit after that first deep dive, because my first deep dive is a doozy. We we go a long way in that very first consult. And so when they come back, I will always ask them how they felt after that first visit. And I always tell them it's a good sign when somebody comes back. It means I didn't scare them off the first time. And I'm not really kidding about that. Yeah. So in this process, y'all, I made lots of phone calls. I talked to lots of people, lots of potential therapists. I met with a few here and there. And in the end, literally over the course of a year, there were only a couple of folks that I felt met me where I needed them to meet me. And I think that's kind of interesting. So from that, I want to share some aha's with you that I had along the way. Are you game? Are you curious? Are you open-minded? Are you willing to hear this from a position of, huh? I wouldn't, I would not do that. That's not what you would find with me. Or, huh, I actually have done that. Maybe I need to think about that. Whatever. Just I want to share my learnings and feelings with you, and I want you to do whatever you feel like this best with it. So the first aha that I had was that in this process, as I'm looking for someone that I do not know, that I want to trust with my heart, and who I can see as someone I want to take, I want to do a certain amount of work with, I need to be able to get a feel for you as a person. Because this is deep in personal, this is deep and personal work. So the very first thing that surprised me was just how hard it was to get a sense of who I was calling. And it, it's not like I was looking for a free consultation. I actually was not asking people to solve my problems over the phone. I wasn't looking to tell people my story. That wasn't the place. I just wanted to hear their voice for a minute, get a feel for who they are, get a sense of their energy. But a variety of things happened. For one, and this will not surprise you, it's interesting how many people I reached out to who never responded at all. Did not answer a contact form, did not answer an email, did not return my call. So I was kind of surprised at that. There were also people that I called that I couldn't get past their front staff. You know, I like to talk to somebody before I decide whether or not to schedule. And I couldn't always do that. You can set up an appointment and come in and meet with them and go from there. Well, I would like to at least talk to them on the phone. There were, like I said, there were times when I sent things in through their contact page, but never heard back from them. So that was the those were the initial surprises, but here's here's the kicker. This was the big one that really, really jumped out at me. Even like when I did manage to get somebody on the phone, here's the good part. Almost everybody answered my questions. And y'all know I had questions because that's what I do, that's who I am. So I had very specific questions that I wanted to ask them about their process, how they work with folks, what kind of people they like to work with, what they don't like to work with, et cetera. I had my own questions, and almost everybody was quite willing and happy to answer my questions. Almost nobody asked me a single question about why I was looking for a therapist. In fact, over the course of a year and quite a few of these calls in the end, I only had maybe two people say, So that's enough about me. Let's talk about you. Why are you calling? What are you looking for? Seriously, that was so unusual that when it happened, it was like, oh, well, so glad you asked. So that's my first aha. I need to get a sense of you as a person. And if you I can't even get you on the phone, that's one thing. But if I do get you on the phone and you never ask me anything about myself, that's kind of a red flag to me. So I just want to share that with you because that was kind of a biggie that really jumped out at me. The second aha I had that I had not expected is that kindness, y'all, is not the same thing as confidence. Okay. So if you are soft-spoken and patient and warm, well, that's lovely. And almost everybody I talked to, not everybody, actually, but I would say most of the folks I talked to definitely met that, were like that. But in so many cases, I could quickly tell that I was gonna be the one running the show. Well, for one thing, because I was running the call, right? And y'all, that might be more comfortable for me, but that's not actually what I need. And what I realized is we don't want somebody who runs over us or dominates the conversation or does all the talking. No, we don't want that. But we are looking for someone to lead us. Don't don't make us wonder if you are strong enough to point the way. That doesn't mean I expect you to have all the answers. I don't. I don't expect you to have many answers at all, but I do, I mean, especially not in the beginning, because we're just getting to know each other, but I do expect you to at least have some questions, to know which questions to ask, and to have sort of a sense of the beginning of at least what direction we might begin with. Right. So we, your potential clients, we we do need you to be kind, but we also need you to be decisive and confident.

unknown 14:38

Right.

Wendy Pitts Reeves 14:39

And we need to feel that when we talk to you. Okay. Kindness is not the same thing as confidence, and we need both. That was the second thing that was quite interesting to me as I spoke to folks. The third aha I would say that I had that was I I don't know. I this I this all of these were unexpected, really. And that is that your office tells a story before you do. Okay. Your office, your waiting room, your parking lot, your building, all of it has a personality, and every room communicates something to your clients, your active clients, your potential clients, everyone who walks in the door. So does your office say, hey, come on in, make yourself comfortable? I have been expecting you, and I am so glad you're here. I am ready for you. Is that what your office says? Uh, does your office say, hey, yeah, I'm kind of busy, but you know, I've squeezed you into my day. There's a spot.

unknown 15:35

You know.

Wendy Pitts Reeves 15:37

Does your office tell me that this is important, this work, and that you know it's important? Or does it feel like something else? And y'all, I've seen this over the years actually, in lots of different settings, lots of different places around the country, honestly. And it has it has surprised me in the past, but in this experience, I I guess I bumped into this again. And I'm I'm not saying I'm looking for something that is decorated, magazine perfect, beautiful, fancy furniture. That's not what we're talking about. Personality is great. And yours needs to reflect you. It needs to have your energy in it. And if that means it's a little messy, it's a little loved in, loved in, lived in, and loved in. If it's the kind of place where I can kick off my shoes and curl up on the couch, that's awesome. But if there is a pile of water bottles waiting to be recycled, a broken drawer, paper piles on the floor, if you're keeping a bunch of snacks next to your chair, I'm not going to say there's necessarily anything wrong with any of that, but the cumulative impact is important. So, what is the cumulative impact of your space? And what does it sh what does it do? What does it say to the people who are coming there trying to prepare themselves to open up to you in a way they don't share with anybody anywhere else? All right. It doesn't, like I say, it does not have to look like something out of a you know, Pinterest page. We don't want to feel like we have to sit up straight and fold our hands in our lap, right? But just think about that and think about if you are creating in whatever way feels right for you an environment that is warm, welcoming, professional, but feels good. All right. And y'all, can I just make a personal request? And for my therapist, I'm gonna tell you if she hears this, she will laugh. Don't make me sneak peeks at my phone, please. Please put a clock where I can see it easily. It will help us both. Thank you.

unknown 17:38

Yeah.

Wendy Pitts Reeves 17:40

Okay. All right. Those are those are the first three kind of the biggies that I have that I came across. And I've got a couple more I want to share. But before I do that, as I am talking these through, if you find yourself thinking about different aspects of your practice, how people reach you, what you say to them when you get on the phone with them, what the process is for onboarding them, getting in the door, what happens when they physically show up if the if you are doing in-person sessions. And if you're online, what happens when they get there? If you are beginning to think about sort of the bigger picture of your practice and you are curious about the bigger picture, this might be a good time for you to do the IP360 scorecard. I haven't mentioned that in a while, but the IP360 scorecard is a simple little assessment tool that I've created that gives you an overview, a bird's eye view of your practice from the point of view of the seven pillars. Y'all know that I believe that there are seven pillars that every practice, every ideal practice needs to have in place to function in a healthy and whole way. And this little tool is designed around that. If you haven't done that in a while, I and you, but you've got it, I encourage you to pull it out and do it again. If it you can't find it or you've never done it, go grab it off of my website. Go to wendypitzreeves.com forward slash the number 360. The numbers forward slash 360. And you'll see there a way to download that. It's completely free. Take about 10 minutes and work through that little tool and see what jumps out at you. It is a really great way to sort of obviously like, oh, that's where the there, there's an opportunity for some work right there. I think you might find that. So I wanted to mention that because I'm talking about your practice as a whole today. And that tool, that little assessment, is a great way to evaluate that. So wendypitzreeves.com forward slash 360, the numbers. All right, check that out. All right, let me keep going. So the fourth aha, the fourth kind of, oh my goodness, that was really interesting. That perhaps this should not have surprised me because this is just human nature. But that is every obstacle that I run into just gives me another reason to put this off, y'all. Every obstacle, anywhere there's a bit of friction, anything that makes it harder for me to set this up and show up, that's a great excuse. That's also part of why this took me so long to find somebody, because when I ran into obstacles, I just quit for a while, sometimes for months, right? So whether it is how to schedule with you, getting on your schedule in some kind of a regular way or a way that at least fits whatever your clients are looking for, your availability, your flexibility sometime. It kind of depends on the situation, but scheduling can be awesome or it can be a real pain. I found it quite difficult, actually, in various situations. Don't make that hard. Don't make it hard for people to find your phone number. Don't make it hard for people to connect with you. Make it easy, be approachable, be reachable, and then be easy to schedule with. And I'm not saying, I am not saying bend your rules or break your boundaries. When I say easy to schedule with, I mean within the parameters of what your schedule is, what works for you. That comes first. But inside that, don't make that hard, make that easy. Things like paperwork, goodness gracious, a couple of practices that I worked with or tried. I've tried a few, I've tried a handful of places, sent me so much paperwork to fill out, like so much, like it was digital, but it was still page after page after page after page. I got to where I wasn't even trying to answer the questions. It was like, this is ridiculous. I can tell you this stuff when I come in. You know, like I'm all about like there are certain things I kind of want to know before I meet somebody too. And there's even an aspect of having folks fill out papers in advance that kind of gets them thinking in a certain way, that kind of gets them sort of prepping for the work. Like I totally get all that. And I have designed my own practice to do all that. But don't go overboard, don't wear Me out before I ever get in the door. Okay. That's friction. That's friction. Returning calls or texts, how easy it is to reach you, how hard it is to reach you, all of that. Like, do I feel welcome? Do you mind if I reach out to you, or do I feel like I'm bothering you? All of those are little, tiny little touch points. How I connect with you, how I schedule with you, how I pay you, whether or how I can how I reach out to you if I need to change something, or I have a question about something, or I have something I want to share with you. All of those are touch points. And y'all, everything, everything, each touch point says one of two things. It either says, I'm here for you, or not. Make sure you're saying what you mean to be saying. And hear me. I am not talking about being available all hours of the day and night. I am not talking about seeing people on the weekends. I am not talking about doing anything that is not in 100% alignment with who you are and your values. But within that container and within that context and within those boundaries, every touch point says, I'm glad you're here and I'm thrilled to work with you or not. Okay, and then the final one is kind of a biggie. And it's a subtle one, y'all. It's a subtle one. And that is, I need to know. I need to know that you actually want to help me. I just need to know. I like, do you do you want to see me? Would you be interested in seeing me? And honestly, even if let's say I am not, like you know upon talking to me that I'm not the right person for you, if you try to help me in some other way, Wendy, I don't think I don't, I can't help you because I don't have this, that, or the other that I think is what you're looking for. But I've got some ideas. Would you like me to put those in an email and send them to you later? Yeah, that would be great. Thank you. I just need to know that you actually want to help. And if I don't feel that in that first interaction, I'm not gonna come back. I'm not gonna call you again. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna delete that one. Okay. And I have been surprised at this, y'all, in very various ways. I have talked to some folks who were incredibly passive, didn't really seem to care whether we took the next step or not. I've talked to some who shared a little too much of their own information in the very first call in a way where I felt like, goodness gracious, I think they might need me more than I need them. You know, like I've had that happen before. I spoke with one person who seemed to be discouraging me in a way. Like, well, we could do this, but I don't know. Like it was it was really kind of odd. Yeah. And then I've talked to folks who were perfectly fine, perfectly fine, professional, appropriate, completely neutral. Didn't seem to matter one way or the other. All of those basically lead to the same outcome, which is I'm not feeling it. And and in any of those situations, y'all, it feels like that's not leaving, like in those cases, like there wasn't room for me. And obviously, I told you there were places where that it did feel like it was good. There were folks that did ask me what it was about, that did show an interest that I could tell, like we're warm and clear and direct, right? So let's let's zoom out a little bit. Let's let's like I want to take this out a bit. Let's let's go back and look at the big picture. And here's what I want to encourage you to do based on this. First of all, I want you to know I did not take any of this personally. Okay, but I'm a business coach, I'm a practice coach, so I cannot help but think about it through both lenses. And the practice owner in me, the business coach in me winced a little bit when these things happened. Because if these things were happening with happening with me, a fairly well-respected colleague, imagine what it, how it lands with somebody who's already anxious about reaching out and just making the call at all, took everything they had. So, my invitation to you is I want to invite you to run your own practice through these aha's, through let's let's do it this way. So I'm gonna ask you five reflection questions, okay? And I want you to reflect on these, not to beat yourself up, because I guarantee you you are doing a lot of things right. You're probably doing most things right. And it may be that none of this applies to you. And if so, yay, that's awesome. And I'm not trying to get you to like look for trouble that isn't there, but I do want to invite you to consider, just look and see what your clients may actually experience. Okay. And y'all, I want you to notice these are not behavior questions. I'm not asking about anything you actually do, these are perception questions. This is how does it feel to the people who reach out to you? Just want you to think about it. So here are the questions. If I were a new client or a new potential client and I called you, I looked up your website, somebody gave you me your name, I checked you out on site today, wherever I went, wherever I found you, would I know, would I be able to get a sense of what it might be like to work with you? Would we speak for a moment so I could have a sense of your energy? Or is there some other way? Is there like maybe a video somewhere or an audio? Is there anything that would give me a sense of you as a human being? Would I be able to figure that out? Or at least feel that in some way? If I were a new client or a potential new client and I called you or I wanted to ask about your services, would I feel welcomed? Would I feel encouraged? Would I feel safe? Would I feel at ease in your space? Or even just on the phone with you? Would I feel led? Would I know that I was in good hands? That you might not have all the answers, but like I said, at least you know where to start the search. Would I know that? Would I be able to feel that just from our brief initial interaction or two? From the first call, the first visit. Would I know I was in good hands? Would I believe, would I be able to feel that you were genuinely interested in helping me? That you weren't just tolerating, you weren't just like, you gotta schedule somebody, you weren't just finding a way to fit me in, that you were genuinely interested in me. And lastly, is it possible if you think through your process? This is, I think this is pillar number four, if I remember right, might there be some unintentional roadblocks along the way that make this a little bit harder for me? Because if they are, you know, I'm gonna use any excuse to drop out, to disappear, to not follow through. Never mind, I'll call somebody else. I'll look later. I don't care who you are, going to do deep personal work is hard for everybody. It's not, I mean, I don't know many people who look forward to it. I I have had one or two clients who were like, you know what, we all need a tune-up every now and then, so I'm happy to be here. But it's really easy to find an excuse not to do this work. And the simplest things can trip somebody up. So are there, is there any friction in the process somewhere along the way? And if there is, is there anything you could do to maybe smooth out some of those? Take out a step or two, simplify something somewhere, automate something somewhere that makes it a little bit easier for both of us? I don't know, but that's worth thinking about. And guys, if you really want to be brave, what I might suggest is that you go back and listen to those questions again, write them down, and maybe even ask your clients. Ask, especially your maybe do this with your clients you have this uh a rich relationship with, a deep relationship with. Or you could try it with some of your newer folks and just say, I am trying to grow as a business owner, and I really want to make sure I'm serving my people well. And you can say, I listened to a podcast that gave me something to think about that I hadn't thought about before. And I've got some questions, and I wonder if you wouldn't mind if I asked you a few things just for a little feedback to make so that I can do an even a better job or an even better job because we both know I'm already awesome. You are welcome to say that. You are absolutely welcome to say that, and your client will love that. And I'll I'll tell you this: here's a little side note here. I have a coaching client that I'm working with who I love her so much. She's doing such good work, and I can see so much growth happening, and it just tickles me like nothing else. And we have been developing a tool, a process, a handout that she's going to use as a list builder for her website. And she's almost to the point where she's ready to kind of test it with the public. And I have encouraged her to share it with a couple of her clients because if it doesn't work for them, it's not going to work for anybody else. And she was a little nervous about that because it feels like we are asking them to make us happy or to flatter us, or that we're asking them to meet a need of ours when that's not what we're here for. So she was a little uncomfortable with it. But the truth is she had one particular client that as she was developing this tool, this process, this is who she had in mind. It was something that would have helped this person at the very beginning. And when she gathered her courage and approached this client, I'm working on this kind of tool. It's kind of a cool thing. And I'm just wondering if you might be willing to look at it, maybe try it, and tell me if you think it's helpful because the truth is, you're kind of the person I had in mind as I was developing it, and your opinion means a lot to me. Well, not only was it not burdening the client, not only was this not in any way asking the client to take care of her needs, what it did was it made the client feel important, cared for, valued. What? You you want to hear what I think? That's awesome. Isn't that great? So I love that. So if you do actually decide to go back and write down these reflection questions and try them out and like talk to a few clients about them, I think you might be surprised at what you learn from it. And it might be really, really, really, really great. You might find that you are doing even better than you know. And wouldn't that be awesome? Yeah. So the happy ending here is, as I have already alluded to, I did actually finally find someone, y'all. I did find someone. And I tried out a few folks along the way who were also wonderful in various ways, but for different reasons, were not quite what I was looking for in the long haul. But I have indeed finally landed somewhere. And if she is listening to this, you know who you are, you know you're awesome. I'm happy to share your name, but not without your permission. But here's what I want to tell you about what made this person, why this clicked. Because I'm telling you, I'd done my homework, right? First of all, she was curious from the beginning. She was curious about what I was looking for, why I was calling, who I was. And I so appreciated that. She knew a little bit about me. She had some awareness from me, from the general public, but not a lot. So that was helpful too. But she was warm, friendly, kind, and direct in a way that told me she was confident in herself in the best way. And that was the first thing I was looking for. That was awesome. She asked me really thoughtful questions, even in our very first phone contact. And there were questions that told me she was already thinking about what I might need, what I might want, what might feel great to me, what might be a point of friction. And she was checking those out with me from the very beginning. I really appreciated that. She made the whole process really easy. Scheduling, payment, showing up, all of it, paperwork, the whole thing was really easy. And when I did finally meet her in person, her office had just enough of what I think of as that kind of lived-in feeling. It was still professional, but it was also warm and cozy. And I could feel my show. And it was sort of funny. Like she had funny things around that were very much a part of her personality, very, very definitely a reflection of her. And quite different from my own office. In fact, I commented on that. I told her, I said, I don't have anything like this at my office. And I loved it. I loved it because I could feel my shoulders drop as soon as I walked in. And she has a clock, a nice big one, which she has learned to make sure I can see. Perhaps more than anything, I felt like she actually wanted to help me, wanted to see me, wanted to work with me. And when I walked out of that first session, I found myself thinking, yep, I think I am in the right place. Praise the Lord. It's been a long time coming. Y'all, none of that was magic. None of that. None of these things I'm talking about today. None of this required expensive marketing. It did not require that she had a niche. It did not require that she had a perfect website. It did not require she had some kind of special training or a certification. It didn't even require her to be a better therapist. None of that is what I was needing. All it required was that you, she, we be intentional about the experience that we are creating for people before the work even begins. And yeah, I think that's worth thinking about. I think it's worth revisiting from time to time. I think it's worth paying attention to. And never assuming that we've got it right. Because even when we do, sometimes we need a little bit of a refresh, a little bit of an update, right? Yeah.

unknown 36:26

Yeah.

Wendy Pitts Reeves 36:26

So that's what I've got for you today. If any of this has hit home for you, I would love to know in what way. Reach out, send me an email, wendy at wendypitzreeves.com. I'd love to have a review from you if you if you are enjoying the podcast. You you know you are always welcome to go into Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen. And I love five-star reviews. Of course, those make me happy. And I would love to hear words from you about what it is that's making this useful and what's makes it valuable for you. And don't forget that IP360, okay, wendypitzreeves.com forward slash 360. If it's been a while since you've done that, or if you've never done that, go grab that little tool. I think that will be helpful for you and might kind of get some wheels turning for you. Okay? Okay. That's what I got for you all today. I hope it's helpful. I hope it's valuable. I hope it makes you maybe, if anything, feel even better because you're doing so many things so well. I love you all very much. Have an awesome week, and I will see you next week right here on the Ideal Practice Podcast. Bye now. Hey y'all, if this program has become important to you, if ideal practice matters, it would mean so much to me if you'd be willing to take just a minute to do one or two of the following things. First of all, would you follow or subscribe to the show here at Ideal Practice? Following me helps you because you'll never miss an episode, but it helps me as well for all kinds of reasons. To do that, all you have to do is go to the show page for Ideal Practice on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. There, just click on the plus sign that you'll usually find in the top right hand corner, or click on the word follow that you're going to find somewhere there on that page. Of all the things, this really is the most important thing you can do for the podcast itself. While you're there, it would be extra special if you would be willing to give me a five-star rating. And even better than that, a review with your own words. Your words matter. And when you write what you feel, what you think, you uplift and encourage others. And I love that. If you want to go a step further than that, take your favorite episode or two, one of the ones that has meant a lot to you, and share it with a friend. Could you do one or two of those things for me? I promise I will love you forever. You guys matter to me, and I value your support more than I can possibly say. Thank you, sweet friend, for anything you can do to help me out and support the show. I'll see you again soon.